Letter For My Son

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My dear son,

 

Today is a special day. You are 10 years old. You are entering the two-digit age. The doorway to adulthood. you will enter the uncertain, un-chartered territory of teen-hood. That terrifying, intense, often-explosive phase every human being has to go through.

 

10 years ago.. your father and i welcomed you into this world in the wee hour with such love that only parents can describe. The 3 hours struggles and pain immediately dissipated when i heard your first cry and when i look at your face, my life was complete. But it wasn’t meant to be so. Your father and i were not meant to be. At the young age of 1, you embarked into life with just your mother – me – to love, to guide and to shape your life.

 

You were always the easiest one to care and to love. Your grandmother adores you from the time she laid her eyes one you. All her hatred and anger dissappeared when she saw you. You are our peace maker. You brought us together. You never throw tantrums the likes that made me cringe and made a silent thank-you to the good Lord for you. You were such a sweet boy. Your first word was mama – i’d remember that for the rest of my life. Your first walk was in one warm afternoon in front of your grandmother’s house, on the gravel road. The look of pure joy on your face when you laugh. I remembered when i had to go away for work and you were not well. I had to do that or no food to be on the table. I am sorry my dearest son.. I am so so sorry.. that at certain situation I had to that. I love  you so much, my darling boy.

 

Then we moved to Ipoh.  We met Papa. You and Papa – the bond was strong. He loves you as fierce as I do. He is the father that you have been missing. Nevertheless, you have a big heart.. and still think about that man in the moon who got stuck becaue his rocket ran out of fuel. Yes, you used to describe your father that way. And how you looked up to the sky and wonder when you’d see him again. Although after i explained to you what had happened.. you never hate him. You never bear a grudge towards him. You are always the kid with a big heart.

 

Your first day in kindy. It was hard for me to leave you but i could see you already stole the heart of the kindy owner. She dotted on you. Who wouldn’t? Allah has bestowed me the most sweet and kind little boy to love and cherish.

 

Your first day in school. I cried so hard. You were growing up too fast. Where was my baby? The one with chubby fingers. The one i took for a walk around granma’s house. The one who laugh so heartily when we played. Where was he? I saw you making friends and mingled around. I felt like keeping you next to me all the time. But i know i couldnt. This is how natures work.

 

You are going to be a heartbreaker. Not that i wish you to be. You always bring me flowers eveytime you went cycling around the neighborhood. You know how to get into a girl’s heart. Be careful, my son. A girl’s heart is the chamber of her soul. Once you break her heart, her soul would be dented and lost a little bit. Be careful, my dearest son, for making a girl’s cry. Her tears could drown the world. Be careful, my darling son. Hell hath seen no fury like a woman’s scorn. If you have to break someone’s heart, be sure that it is for the right reason. Make and break – these are part of life.  Try not to break promises. Or better – don’t make promises you know you can’t keep. Broken promises create broken trusts. Life is lost its meaning with every trust you break.

 

Do not be afraid to love.. do not be afraid to lose love… do not be afraid to love again…

 

Appreciate your friends and family, even when you don’t like them. Be tolerant. Be humble. But at the same time, you need to learn to let go. For some people are meant to just touch your life, making great impact and more often than not – confusions, awkwardness, uncertainty, but they are not meant to stay in it. Thank them for the great experience, then move on with your life. If they decided to pop in again in your life, welcome them. Don’t begrudge other’s fortune, and don’t envy. Don’t be mean to others, and be heartless in your judgment. These would take away the peace in your life.

 

My dear son.. you are going to be a young man soon. I don’t know what the future hold. I don’t know what would become to this world. I don’t even know what would happen to me too. I just hope and pray that you take a look at the life around you, take whatever is good, learn to differentiate what to do and what not to do, and most importantly stay true to yourself.. run like a spirited stallion, fly to the highest strata, live your life to its fullest..

 

My love for you, my darling son, would never ceased.. for men come and go…. But you stay … you never leave.. you are my dearest, beautiful, kind, loving son… there will be a girl who is good enough for you out there.. and she would be the luckiest girl.. I pray for all the love and blessing in this world for you, my son.. and I will always be here watching over you, with prayers and love..

 

Love,

Mama

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